When Your Dog is Dying

 Bullseye's first day with us

The sun is glaring off the snow and yesterday's rain has crystallized on the sidewalk in intricate patterns.  I know this because I have spent a good part of the day sitting with my dog, Bullseye, in the snowbank.  He is dying and prefers to keep his watch in the yard rather than be inside.  So I have joined him, telling him what a good and loyal friend he has been.  Reminding him of the time he protected our yard from the snarly badger and still wears the scar.  Letting him know that I'll have to start sweeping the kitchen floor again, since he won't be around to clean up the crumbs.  Thanking him for shepherding our children for almost 9 years, and for never failing to entertain us with his repertoire of fancy tricks for treats.   

The vet say he has pancreatitis, which means bile is leaking into his system.  He has stopped eating and is very weak.  He can't even keep water down.  

Our loyal friend

Bullseye loving Ginger

A year and a half ago, a little, starving, limping kitten wandered into our yard.  Bullseye immediately bounded over to her and began to lick and snuggle her.  Soon after, she joined our family.  Today, she is staying near Bullseye, occasionally rubbing against him.  I think she remembers what he did for her and wants to return the kindness.

Playing along with the kids

The children are handling it in their own ways.  The youngest is shedding many tears and talking about what it will be like in heaven for him.  Our middle child is trying to hold back the tears, but she snuck him out for a walk earlier, as we watched from the window.  He made it to the mailbox.  When they turned around, she was crying, which made my husband break down.  My son has been distracted, acting in 5 performances this weekend at the local theater.  He will have to process this later.  I have cried my tear ducts dry.  

Bullseye's favorite person in the world, my mom, came to visit him this morning.  He even followed her inside the house, accepting her tears and tenderness, if not her pocketful of treats.  Thank you, Mom, for loving your grand-dog so dearly.

As our hearts break for Bullseye, we heard that our niece, Brooke, is in labor with her long-awaited first baby.  And so I pulled out the Bible and read from Ecclesiastes 3:

There is a time to be born and a time to die...a time to weep and a time to dance.