My 3 Words for 2018

Each new year, I ponder a triangle of guiding words that are not exactly resolutions but reference points. They are designed to reel me back to healthier, more dynamic living after the wild ride of December, where I tend to buck every good habit and over-eat, over-spend, and under-attend to the things I value.  (All in the name of baby Jesus, right?!)

I've spent the last couple of weeks rolling words around in my head.  Many that came to mind were ones I've used in past years, so clearly I don't master things, I just (God-willing) progress.

So here are my three words for 2018.

Tune

Living with musicians, I often hear instruments being tuned.  Sometimes we use electric tuners, dialing the notes to digital perfection.  Sometimes we tune to each other's instruments.  There is a cringe factor when the notes are not quite in tune; our ears rebel as the notes move toward the pitch, and there is relief when the pitch lands smack in the green zone.

Nothing in my life is perfectly pitched.  There is no use lamenting the fact that our instruments and our lives go out of tune.  Better to refine the ability to adjust, and to avoid snapped strings and gross discordance by making regular tweaks toward what I value and what keeps me healthy and sane.

Come thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy praise.

Rhythm

I am fairly adept at making schedules that incorporate my values and goals.  Keeping the schedule is another story because of my ongoing fondness for being lazy and procrastinating and for talking myself out of good choices.  The voices in my head can be subtle and ornery!  Strict schedules are not a good fit for me, but rhythms are healthy.  

My rhythm works best when it includes Sunday meal-planning, shopping, and prep, early morning exercise and scripture reading, defined times to work on my business, and spaces to put away work and technology and focus on the people around me.   God gave me an intuitive 3rd child who calls me out on my techno-distraction!  Finally, rhythm works best if I build margin by not overbooking myself.

Fuel

This word regards the simple concept of fueling my body and mind with food, work, exercise, rest, reading, service, and recreational activities that fuel rather than deplete my resources.  It sounds like a lot to manage, but each option, held up and considered, can be accepted or rejected as fuel.  I'm always hoping to make the next best choice...and often blowing it!  Here, though, is a tank-filling thought:  "His mercies are new every morning."

Thank you for reading my thoughts.  I hope they spur you to self-reflection as you consider tweaks or massive changes for the new year.  If you are a "word of the year" person, I'd love to hear your word(s). 

My Three Words for 2017

Each year since 2013, I have paused in December to reflect on the year and envision the future.  I have made it a habit to choose three words to set the course for the new year.  These words are not exactly goals or resolutions, they are guiding principles, like compass points that keep me on the path of inward growth and outward purpose.  

Last year, my words were Lift, Pray, and Nourish.  They remained on my kitchen chalkboard wall for the entire year and I read them daily.  Here are my reflections on the power of these words:

Lift-  I wanted to get stronger through literal weight-lifting, and I wanted to be intentional with lifting burdens from others using my resources.  Happily, I am as strong as I've ever been thanks to a gym full of weights and machines and a log book where I track my progress.  And I've found ample opportunities to lift burdens of others...really, there is no shortage of burdens, so the onus is always on my listening and responding to the Holy Spirit.

Pray-  As always, this one is difficult for me, though I found recent comfort in this quote: 

“For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; it is a simple look turned toward heaven, it is a cry of recognition and of love, embracing both trial and joy.” ― Thérèse of Lisieux  

I think I am of the "surging heart" type, not the "prayer warrior" type.  I think that is okay.

Nourish-  I did better than in the past providng nourishing meals to my family, while openly admitting that every Friday is pizza night and not the healthy kind.  I definitely nourished my mind with a great deal of reading.  Because of my daughter's new driver's license and my kids' schedules this year, a whole world of uninterrupted time opened to me, which I used primarily for reading and listening to audio books.  

So enough of the old. My three words for 2017: Place, Practice, Magnify

Place-  The French have a culinary term called "mise en place."  (French pronunciation: ​[mi zɑ̃ ˈplas]) It refers to having everything in its place before you begin, all the ingredients and the pots and pans in place after carefully reading the recipe.  I've experimented a bit with this in the kitchen lately: placing pre-measured ingredients in little bowls around me before I begin cooking, which makes me feel like a professional and a bit glamorous, like I'm on a Food Network cooking show. But the implications are greater than an organized meal prep.  What if my home, my work, my relationships, and my mind could be described as "mise en place?"   Lofty, I know. 

Practice-  Lately I have been fascinated with all things liturgical and iconic.  I want to know the meanings behind the church year, liturgy, spiritual disciplines, and religious icons.  My evangelical church does not typically enter into these things, which is fine.  Better to do the work on my own.  But the point of knowing the meanings is to practice and experience their intended outcomes, which is deeper communion with God and others.  I am starting with the Daily Examen. 

Magnify- Mary said in Luke 1, "My soul magnifies the Lord."  She spoke this in response to God interrupting her simple life with a GREAT CALL.  She spoke it in the midst of personal turmoil and fear.  Whatever God asks of me, I want to magnify him.  And I want to hold up a magnifying glass to the needs of the world.  And I want to hold up the unforgiving glass to my own sin so that I may be ushered into God's river of forgiveness and the Holy Spirit's unending assistance.  

And with that, I am now accountable for another year of growth.  

My 3 Words for 2016

A handful of you have asked me about my three words for the new year.  Years ago, when I read about this idea on some guy's blog, I became intrigued and motivated to do this kind of high-arching goal-setting exercise.  Rather than write down a list of specific goals and resolutions each year, which quickly annoy the heck out of me,  I instead contemplate the stage of life I am in and create a framework of words that become a filter for my choices.  I post them around the house so they stay on my mind.  Admittedly, after a few months, they blend into the scenery, but every now and then, they jump out at me and remind me to ask...how's it going?  

These are the three words that have bubbled to the top of my thoughts over the last few weeks:  LIFT, PRAY, NOURISH.  (Kind of like Eat, Pray, Love, but hopefully not so self-serving as Ms. Gilbert's approach.)  

I'm not sure why LIFT is my word of choice, but it seems to encompass two personal values...physical strength and serving others.  I want to be able to lift heavy things, from furniture and dumbbells to medicine balls and toddlers running around church.  I want to push myself in the area of weight training at the gym.  My husband loves when I buff up and frankly, I've gotten a little soft over the last few years.  

I also want to LIFT the burdens of others when I can, using my gifts and resources and heart.  This is all about noticing needs, listening to God, and responding to that holy nudge.  It can hurt and be messy.  It can mean sacrifice and expense.  But it is a charge from God himself.  So I pray this song: "Take my feet and let them be swift and beautiful for thee," powerful words from one of my favorite hymns. 

PRAY is simple and direct, but it is oh so hard for me.  I think on God a lot, but the talking/listening part gets pushed aside, and I always feel the void in my spirit.  So I came up with an idea...nothing novel, just new to me.  I am keeping a prayer journal and spending each day of the week praying for important people and issues in my life.  Each person in my immediate family has a day dedicated to him or her.  Friends and extended family have a day.  I have a day to pray for personal needs.  And the world in general has a day.  As soon as I sit down with my coffee and Happy Light, I open my journal for focused prayer.  Then I read scripture from the online Revised Common Lectionary and meditate awhile on it.  

NOURISH is a word that sings in my ear.  It's about feeding myself and family nutritious foods and pouring love and grace into my relationships.  To me, this word is a pearl among all healthy living and psychology terminology.  

So there you go and here I go.  Welcome, sweet new year of opportunities to grow and do better.  

Scale: January's Zero Spending Challenge

I keep ruminating on one of my guiding words for the new year:  Scale.  Into my head pops the image of my ever friend and foe, the bathroom scale, and then an image of an old-fashioned balancing scale, and then a photo that illustrates proper balance and scale from my how-to photography book.

After the images, come the words:  scale back.  The practical side of me (and my husband's gentle admonishments) point to the need to have a January spending freeze after a couple of months of loose spending.  Ruth at Living Well Spending Less blog has a 31 day challenge with lots of ideas and encouragement. It's not exactly zero spending, but the ground rules are to only spend money on essentials.  

Today I'm starting with Day 2:  Inventory the Pantry and Freezer.  The calendar is clear, I've printed her cute inventory sheets, and I'm ready to see what is hiding in the hinterlands of my 3 pantries and 2 freezers!  The real challenge will be creating meal plans using only what I have, instead of my recipe caches.  

Another challenge will be resisting temptation in the stores.  My children all received multiple gift cards to mall stores, Kohls, and (oh dear) Savers.  They will want to go shopping and they will need an escort.  I will have to think of willpower like a muscle that gets stronger the more you use it.  That concept comes from a self-help book I listened to on a long drive to see family over Christmas called The Willpower Instinct by Kelly McDonigal, PhD.  It contained many ideas to help develop focus and restraint based on current brain research.  I'm a sucker for books about brain research, even though I realize it is a new frontier and all science is tentative (thank you for that reminder, Apologia Science!)

Time to get to work.  Let me know if any of you want to take the Zero Spending Challenge with me.  See you next year!

Covenants and Vultures

Several of my friends have been choosing words to guide their new year.  One of my favorites is Kathy's word:  Sabbath.  Chris chose one word:  Dance.  I continue to reflect on my 3 words:  frame, scale, and aperture.  

This morning, as I read the story of Abram's aching heart in Genesis 15, I realized something.  Vultures await.  Abram was desperate for a son and scratching his head that God had not given him one yet.  

God said: You WILL have a son.  Now make a covenant with me. 

So in bloody Israelite-style, Abram carved some creatures in half as a sign that he would trust and honor God with his hopes and dreams.  

Then the vultures came...  Gen 15:11

We split open our hearts in an attempt to trust God with our deepest desires, and the scent of covenant draws the vultures.

Vultures will scavenge from Kathy's Sabbath rest.  Vultures' slow-winged descent will keep Chris from dancing.  Their hunger will keep me from living in the spirit of my three words.  They will gather and circle above us as soon as they see opportunity.  They are carrion-eaters disguised as negative voices, unchecked appetites, over-scheduled days, fatigue, illness, apathy.  

But they can be chased away.  They must.  

Then the vultures came, and Abram chased them away.  Gen 15:11

My prayer for the covenant-makers, for those of us who are always striving to live holier lives, is this:  that we will spot the vultures gathering, and we will chase them away.  

My Three Words for 2014

December is always the pinnacle of juxtaposition for me.  My right hand indulges in too many sweets, too much spending, too much activity penned on the calendar, and too little Bible page-turning.  My left hand stretches toward God in a long, sorry reach.  I read the Christmas Scriptures and wonder how this simple story came to revolve around my own appetites and priorities.  Mea culpa.

Every December I pause to meditate and select three guiding words for the new year, while evaluating my three words for the past year. 

My words for the new year all pertain to photography, and the interests of the photographer.  She is not primarily concerned with her own needs.  She is outward focused, looking for beauty and a meaningful story to tell, bringing things into balance, determining correct speed, and always searching for Light.

Frame prompts me to savor moments and capture them in words or photos.  It is a reminder to blog regularly, keep in the creative song writing mode, make intentional memories with the family (both special and daily,) and carefully say what I mean, framing my words in love and earnestness.  It regards being intentional with my time, and organizing my day with borders and margins, while not expecting to control everything within the frame.   Tools:  prayer, camera, blog, google calendar, parenting, homeschooling, and marriage resources

Scale emphasizes regular evaluation of the quantity and balance of things in my life.  I want to be aware of my unhealthy appetites, both for food, activity, and other indulgences, and bring them back to their proper scale.  I will be mindful that exercise is the counterbalance to eating, and giving is the counterbalance to greed.  I will weigh the needs of each person in my family and other circles of concern, and make adjustments as needed. Tools:  prayer, scale, health club, menu planning, family meetings, good communication with Dave

Aperture means letting in light.  I want to be Light-sensitive and keenly aware of the Holy Spirit’s guidance.  I want to see people through God’s lens of love, concern, and discernment, and to move when the Spirit says move.  Tools:  prayer, daily Bible reading, church, small group, community service opportunities

Anyone interested in selecting three of your own words?

My Three Words for 2013

Each year about this time, I do some business with God, listening to His insistent voice urging me to steady the wheel.  It's not a matter of fishtails or u-turns, but more a matter of distracted driving, the kind where you hear the rumble strips, correct your course, and become momentarily more alert, only to meander a few miles down the road.  Choosing three guiding words for the years helps set the course and align the wheels with God's will.

Last year's words were thrift, nurture, and decrease.  One of my goals was to shop almost exclusively at thrift and consignment stores for clothes.  Achieved!  With the exception of a couple of outfits and souvenir T-shirts, I happily managed this goal.  All three kids now love Savers and Goodwill, and Megan's newly-decorated room was almost completely thrifted.  Canopy bed from Craigslist, antique vanity from the clearance room at Kismet Consignment, $5 vintage rocker from Savers, side tables from other rooms in our home.  Fun!

I wanted to nurture more relationships in my life outside of my dear family.  Near-weekly breakfasts with girlfriends, dinners with my mom, and starting a church community group in our home were God's provision for this desire of my heart.  I have a quote over my mudroom door that says, "God provides, but He doesn't throw the worm in the nest."  I had to be intentional about this, setting up dates, seizing opportunities, and making connections, but the fruit is delicious and I will continue this good habit.

How did I decrease?  Well, I put on several pounds, so I didn't decrease the food consumption!  I went way overboard on school curriculum.  Fail.  My closets and cupboards are bulging at the seams, so I didn't do an epic job of decluttering.  I guess I will revisit this for 2013.

Here are my three words for the new year:

Reduce...synonym for "decrease."  Let's try this again!

Order...I am most productive when I have systems of order in place.  But I'm always changing up my systems, looking for improvements, and then abandoning them altogether.  For 2013, I'm going to decide on one plan for my quiet time, one plan for home/meal organization, one plan for school organization, and one plan for my exercise.  I'm going to see what it feels like to stick with ONE THING.  This will be HARD for me!

Spacious...Psalm 18:19  He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.  I love this verse.  It reminds me that God rescued me out of my self-centered little world so that I could serve Him in a spacious place, in this wide world.  Homeschooling in Rochester, Minnesota, is like living in a safe little bubble.  But I am called to the ends of the earth for Christ.  I want my worldview to be broad and spacious.  I want to serve in concentric circles:  God, family, friends, neighbors, community, country, world, whether it is with my hands or my money or my music.  The needs are deep and expansive, but if I am deliberate, I can meet them one at a time.  

Anyone interested in choosing your own three words?

Bread and Cheese, Please

In the bleak midwinter, when skin is crying for Vitamin D, kids are down with colds, and the early morning sound floating in the air is the steady scrape of shovel on concrete, as Manly Husband enters another winter refusing to use a snow blower, I sit in my morning spot and ponder the first 23 days of January. 

My Three Words of 2012 are hovering around me, like suspended snowflakes.  How can I nurture and decrease with a spirit of thrift?  I discovered one thing this week:  homemade bread!  Many sing its praises for nutritional value and frugality, but I've always had a fear of yeast.  I know...weird.  But I can proudly say that yeast is my friend and listens to me when I tell it to rise. 

When I started considering making my own bread, I thought I was going to have to make a mighty investment in a Kitchen Aid mixer and a grain mill.  That didn't sound very thrifty.  I found, shockingly, that kneading the bread was half the fun, and my girls were delighted to help.  My friend reminded me that we have a mutual friend with a mill that we could use.  Yay, thrift!  We enjoyed 3 loaves of bread this week:  one white and two honey wheat.  The smell in itself was healing and nurturing. 

How did having homemade bread at my fingertips contribute to "decrease" you may be wondering?  Well, two slices of that honey wheat sustained me through 5 hours of worship team practice, worship leading in two services, and many conversations after church.  No donuts for me! 

Dave was inspired by my Amish-ness, and decided to make some homemade cheese with a kit he had ordered.  He and Grace spent Saturday afternoon stirring a big kettle of milk and cream and enzymes, which produces some squeaky and delicious cheese curds.  Next up...cheddar! 

Don't be too impressed.  Last night, the kids warmed up chicken nuggets, thoroughly processed.  At least I tried one new thing and hope to make it a staple. 

My Three Words for 2012

This will be my third year of choosing three guiding words that represent my heart and mind for the new year.  They are by no means resolutions, which beg to be broken by mid-January.  They are carefully chosen words that act as beams of light on my path, helping direct my steps.  The process of choosing them is mind-boggling.  I mean, there are umpteen billion words in my language.  How do I pare down to 3?  By listening.  A quiet mind allows the right words to bubble to the top of the list.  Here they are:

1.  Thrift

I want to be more thrifty with my time and money.  Perhaps there are more concise words I could choose, but I think "thrift" will stick in my mind.  I heard recently that Mark Zuckerberg, the creator of Facebook, takes on a personal challenge each year.  Last year, he decided to only eat meat he had butchered himself.  Crazy but cool!  So my not-so-bloody challenge is to only purchase clothes and shoes this year from thrift stores or consignment (except for my running shoes and undergarments!)  The money I save will help pay for the new Compassion child I am sponsoring:  a 15-year-old boy from Haiti. 

It will be interesting to see where this word takes me.  I would love to become a less impulsive spender, more thoughtful and self-controlled...to only bring new things into my home that will add value and enhance my life. 

When I sit down to time-wasting activity, I pray this word will blink like neon in my mind.  I haven't quite decided where blogging falls on this continuum of time-takers.  Weak sigh.


2.  Nurture

I've scribbled down many variations of this word and almost chose "shepherd,"  but then I walked into my bathroom yesterday and saw this beautiful book jacket placed on a ledge for decoration...

It's an image I will see everyday as a reminder.  I need to pay more attention to relationships in my life.  I am and have always been project-oriented.  I LOVE  a new project.  I LOVE to work alone.  But I realize I am missing a vital part of human connection and ministry when I focus on my own projects.  I want to invite my children into my projects more often.  I want to linger over conversations with friends, since I tend to always get to business, especially on the phone.  I need to call my dad regularly.  I pray for a few relationships outside of my normal Christian friends that I can nurture and pursue.  I pray for at least one mentoring/discipling relationship within my church....perhaps a young mom.  What I know for sure is that if I am not intentional with this, I will continue accomplishing a lot of little projects on my own.  Like new blogposts.  Again, weak sigh.

3.  Decrease

Some form of this word always ends up on my list.  Last year: yield.  Two years ago:  portion.  Of course, it's mainly about food.  I have found that the most effective way to remind myself that food does not control me is to fast.  I intend to fast regularly in 2012.  I have a book on my side table right now entitled:  Knowing God Through Fasting by Elmer Towns.  I just finished a really good "girlfriend-type" one called Craving Grace by Lisa Velthouse.  It helps to know how others approach and experience fasting. 

More than food, I must always focus on decreasing so that God may increase.  Not drawing attention to myself is hard, particularly when God has given me a speaking/singing platform.  But I know it can be handled well because I've seen others do it beautifully.  I will imitate them. 

And then there is the STUFF.  That winds me back to "thrift."  Being diligent about decluttering and careful of adding more.  Often, I get stuck in the cycle of cleaning out and then buying new.  Hopefully, this word will prevent me from increasing my stuff. 


Why do I bother putting so much thought into this?  Because it works.  Reflecting on my words from 2011 (inheritance, voice, yield) I can clearly see that God blessed my efforts with fruit, and for that, I am utterly grateful.  As in my Bible reading from Hosea this morning, God calls out in passionate love, I respond in grace-filled faithfulness, and together we form a lovely, fruitful marriage.

How about you?  Would you join me?