It's only one week into Lent and I'm having misgivings about my ability to be consistent and committed to this One Word project. I would have misgivings if I was fasting, too. I'd forget and eat the chocolate if I was fasting from sweets. I'd sneak a peak on Facebook if I was fasting from social media.
I remember reading a blog about fasting by Ann Voskamp some years ago. She reminded me that the whole point of giving something up for Lent is to prove our pathetic weakness and our great need for Christ.
Lent paints the sad picture of how we crave earthly things more than Christ. I sit down in the mornings and really just want to surf the net, check in with Facebook friends, and respond to emails. I don't want to ponder great Biblical truths. I don't want anything that smacks of discipline in these early hours.
Lent takes us deep into the dark heart of humanity, where we realize we would have probably had a role in the ancient story. Would we have been a scoffer in the crowd? Would we have been weak like Pontius Pilate or violent like the guards? Would we have been unfaithful to Christ like Peter or betrayed Christ like Judas.
I'd like to think I would be Mary with the long hair, cracking open the jar of exquisite, fragrant oil to pour on Christ's feet.
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. Matthew 22:37
Lent teaches that this is not possible. I cannot love with all my heart. It will always be divided. But through Christ's work on the cross, I can earnestly pray with the psalmist:
Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. Psalm 86:11
I've fallen down on my Nehemiah postings--need to get the next verses up. But the heartache of Lent is also the Joy of Lent, that 'while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.' This imperfect drive is still a drive, and we will get there!
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